A wonderful Wendy Has Come my way!

Actually, her name is Dorothy. But anyway, please do NOT Respond to this Ad! I'm still leaving this page here for the many friends who have been following events in my life through this web site. And if you wish to write me in friendship, I'd still love to hear from you. But I'm not currently "looking! ".
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So...Are you Really Tinkerbell?
Or Wendy perhapps?

"All you need is trust... and a little bit of pixie dust!" --Peter Pan

Peter Pan ISO Tinkerbell! This certainly must be the most unusual "ISO" ad you've ever seen, if not the most entertaining. But along with new friends, I am indeed interested in a true life partner and soulmate, and believe this is the most important decision anyone can make. So I created this page to share a little more about what these words mean to me, and try to explain myself a little better. I try to be very transparent and see such openness as a priority in relationships, especially with anyone you meet online.

As you can see from my website, I believe life is too short to hide oneself away. This is why I've been pretty up front about a self image that might embarrass some. It is my belief that we should celebrate the things that bring us joy in life, especially when they're simply harmless fun. So while I may not wear a "pixie" outfit to work everyday, I still try to incorporate as much of my inner self as I can into my day to day appearance, whenever doing so is practical. Some examples are in the Day to Day wear area of my fashion page. I always like to be colorful, and at least "hint" at a childlike, or 'Peter Pan' like look, and yes... that's my real hair. But beyond the simple joy of self expression, there's a practical side to this too. Being true to one's self helps spare the pain of false friendships. It hurts when people are friendly, and then turn on you later when they find that you're not what they are accustomed to! Being yourself may be the "road less traveled", but it is surely the better one in the long run.

I'm making a big deal about this for two good reasons. First, for the many people that are overly paranoid about what "society" thinks of them, and are worried about being seen associating with someone like me, I obviously can never be much more than good neighbors on the same planet with them. I'm talking about unreasonable social fear now, not the necessary survival instinct of being wary of violent or unsafe surroundings. I'm not judging, because I understand that we all have different degrees of concern about how people see us, and I don't claim to be 100% beyond this either. Yet I think it's reasonable to desire friends who are sufficiently self confident, that this is not an issue, and in a life partner, a special friend who might even join in the fun.

Secondly, like most people I desire someone that is attracted to the real me. Too many people hide things that are unusual about themselves until a relationship becomes very deep, and this is not fair to anyone. From running this website and reading the mail, I know there are far too many people out there afraid to be open about their inner feelings and dreams, and I can't help thinking what a shame this is. But I've learned from the hard school of life that being tolerated is a sad substitute for being loved. So, since such a lady may herself be somewhat unusual, (maybe even another one of a kind "pixie" person), anything less than being transparent is pretty foolish for me. After all, if Tink or Peter are to recognize each other in day to day living, it is helpful if they are both actively flying! Hey Cutie!

As a final word on this, a web site on the internet is definitely not be the best place to discuss really intimate or sexual things. But there are some generalizations that I should clarify for anyone considering me for more than a friend. As you may guess from my Fashion Pages, I'm kind of "fetishy" about my appearance and these costumes I make. But since I do like to look androgynous, I also must clarify that I am only interested in a female partner. And also, even though I would think it would be both fun and bold, I would not expect you walk around with wings and a wand and a tutu (at least not all the time ).

Now to balance all that, I have to say that while physical attraction, turn-ons, and fantasies (what I call Sparkles!) are wonderful and important, its equally important to remember that those feelings can be fickle and change over time. Sometimes the 'sparkles' can so blind us, we don't even realize when someone isn't right for us until its too late to avoid the hurt. So let me tell you some other things I'm into, since friendship, common life interests and goals are, after all, the basis for a really lasting relationship.

~~~~~~~~~~~ Faith and Trust!~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At the top of my list of priorities is my personal faith, which you can learn much more about at my Through the Cracks Ministries website. I am a Christian and though it may seem a contradiction, I am also a very liberal and independent thinker when it comes to my faith, and what being a Christian really means. Because of this, I have found myself at odds with quite a bit of organized religion for which I make no apologies. In fact, I started the ministry website largely because I believe God is completely opposed to those who use their religious beliefs to point fingers of judgement at others, as if they themselves were "perfect". To me, Jesus' message was that none of us are better than any other, and in himself was offering a better approach to God than the judgement religion had to offer. Namely, to simply love God, love our neighbor, and stop judging everyone! I also don't think believers should refrain from enjoying life, going out dancing, or avoid the company of people religion has labeled "undesirables." But though I am very open minded, I know that being committed to someone for life means you really have to be in agreement about such things more than you might with, say, a friend. I've had to leave some potentially wonderful relationships, because our beliefs were in serious enough conflict that we'd hinder each others spiritual growth had we continued.

Such situations invariably cost everyone much emotional pain, and I mention it for a reason. Though I strive for maturity, I have seen myself "fall in love" so hopelessly, that I can not even see when such conflicts exist! If you're honest, you'll admit that at one time or another, love probably influenced you to make some less than optimal choices too along the way. So, if you see me as a potential partner, please help me remember not to gloss over discussing these things. Look at my ministry website and see if the work I've done there makes sense to you. I live and learn, but I'm still not above being knocked senseless by a cute Pixie, and her magic "Pixie Dust". And incidentally, there is a more extensive bio on that 'ministry' site I mentioned, which goes all the way back to my childhood.

~~~~~~~~~~~ Hobbies and endeavors~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I said on my home page, I'm a musician, and have been playing guitar for most of my life. I mainly play swing Jazz these days, though most of my song writing leans to more contemporary styles. I do like listening to everything form classical, through jazz, through rock, and love to dance to the loud 'techno' and 'industrial' stuff they play in the clubs. If you happen to be a musician too, that would definitely open the door for some wonderful collaborative and creative joint efforts! Not a requirement at all, but just food for thought. I do have some of my music available on line, which you can hear by following the links on my Music Page. About the only music I tend to dislike is the kind that is violent, or contains lyrical content which is profane, hateful, or disrespectful to women (or anyone for than matter). Though I love music and LOVE to dance, I do confess that my dancing skills are about on par with a 5 year old girl doing her ballet recital. So if you want a really coordinated dance partner, you'll need a fair amount of patience with me. (Well, on second thought, maybe a LOT of patience, and a good sense of humor too!) I'm also a computer software engineer and an electronic designer (my 'day job), and often enjoy inventing new gadgets. My business card says: "Guitarist, Engineer, Inventor, Eternal Child", which about sums it up.

~~~~~~~~~~~ General fun stuff ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just to lighten this up a little, I should mention the more "standard" kind of "ISO ad" things. Like the fact that I love nature walks, Italian food (I *do* eat meat, and a bit of 'junk' food happily and without apology!), most creative arts, and movies ranging from adventure, through sci-fi, through comedy, and the romantic. The latter I usually end up crying over, so if you like someone sentimental and sensitive, you've struck gold. I've never been dry-eyed through the end of any episode of "Touched by an Angel". I also love scavenging through yard sales and flea markets for vintage cloths, and other fun stuff. I am a social drinker, but not a cigarette smoker.

~~~~~~~~~~~ What's in it for me? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You know, it's been a real point of growth to allow myself to ask that question! As you've likely noticed, most of my message here has been: "this is who I am, in case YOU want ME!". I guess I do like to be open minded, and really think it a turn off when I see ISO ads that dictate a list of unconditional requirements for anyone calling. A real relationship requires compromise and is not about cloning oneself or just seeking one's fairy princess. But having been down this road a few times now, I've learned it is unwise to completely bypass expressing one's own preferences and desires, and doing so in turn also helps you know me better!

So, beyond a partner who finds me attractive and is on a similar spiritual track, here are some personal preferences, that are not as written in stone. I think from mid 30s to my own age (50 now) is a sensible range. But I do consider myself very young both physically and in spirit, and prefer someone who is similarly youthful, creative, playful (even childlike!), and energetic, both physically and mentally. Now I'm not a health fanatic by any means, as proven by my diet, so I'm not very judgmental about people's various vises, and neither am I seeking to be 'corrected'. But I should mention that addiction to cigarettes is one of the few things I'd hope anyone would at least be willing to try to overcome.

With all this talk of being 'Peter Pan', you may be inclined to think I've no cares for the practical side of life, but nothing could be further from true. Along with the fun loving and childlike mental attitude, I also want someone that like me, can be serious and take care of business when necessary. Otherwise, both people play, but only one is left doing all the work. Life partners should be willing to work together to make their present dreams and future goals become reality. I also believe in equal partnership, which means that no one should need to be "in charge", and that all things are worked out by talking and of course, listening!

Finally, it's not out of the question, but I'm am a bit reluctant to consider adding children to my life, and certainly don't want to make any new ones! At this point in life, I'd prefer for both my partner and I to be able to concentrate on our own creative efforts, both work and play, unencumbered. But again, it's not written in stone.

~~~~~~~~~~~ Enough already! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Geeze... Well with all my wordiness, it should be obvious that I do see communication as a major priority. But let's face it, meeting on the internet (with someone possible thousands of miles away) is difficult enough without having to pry out basics over dozens of emails. At the very least I hope you can see that beyond my likes and dislikes, and beyond the outer appearance of fantasy, I am a real person. I could speak of my being dependable and honest as well, but I understand that such descriptions must be earned, and I would be lying if I claimed to have never disappointed anyone. I do hope that if you feel an inner connection to me, you will give me the opportunity to prove myself to you.

In any case, if you've read this far, it is certain that at the very least I've provided you some smiles, and hopefully have made a new friend. And if it turns out you really are Tinkerbell, then I will surely be one happy pixie boy! Please write me and when you do, remember to share as much as you can too! Send a picture, and tell me some of your own dreams, beliefs, and life goals too. Remember that with email, and unless you have your own website like this, I won't know your age, where on the planet you are, or anything unless you tell me!